Listen
by CheekyBrunette
Summary: Nick isn't that great of a listener, and it may be frustrating Jeff just a bit... Purely written for my own therapy, so it gets a bit angsty up on you...


**I'm so freaking… ANGSTY right now. Oh. My gosh. So yeah. Time to make someone bleed cause that's what I do when I'm depressed and my friends can't seem to figure out what it means to LISTEN to someone. **

**Okay. Whatever. Let's just go.**

Jeff didn't understand what exactly he and Nick were doing with themselves. Everyone viewed them as this… inseparable duo or whatever, and maybe they were, but… But Jeff didn't _feel_ like he was part of a pair. Especially not with Nick. Definitely not with Nick.

Every time –_every time_- he talked to the other boy, it felt like the first time. Like they didn't know each other on the deeper level they expected of, and Jeff didn't know _why_. He did his best to be there for Nick, but it felt like the other boy didn't really need him when he was. It made him feel like a bother and a nuisance, and he didn't know what Nick _wanted_; he just knew that he wanted to get what he was giving back.

Jeff was _tired_ of having to vie for the attention of someone who was supposed to be giving it to him anyway. He was tired of Nick being a stranger that only knew him on a surface level. He was tired of his sentences being cut off, and… yeah. Jeff talked a lot. But maybe that was because people didn't hear half of what he said in the first place. Jeff wanted to be heard, but no one seemed to hear him.

It was stupid really. All the angst it caused him. He was generally well liked among the other students at Dalton. Jeff was in near every club he could be a part of and wasn't particularly shy. He was out there, and crazy, and maybe a little immature, but –hey- everybody could use a little bit of that in their life. Naturally, Jeff had friends everywhere.

But none of them were Nick.

And none of them… _listened_ right. Every time Jeff started to speak, for example, Kurt would pull his mouth up tight and give him a little "okay". Like he was crazy. Like he didn't understand. Or whenever Wes or David heard him go on a little spiel, they would laugh at him for a while and then tapper off, ending with "Ugh. You're so gay."

That wasn't listening! It wasn't ignoring, but it wasn't _listening_. And Nick… Nick was supposed to get him, and he did, but it was like… It was like he didn't care. Jeff couldn't imagine life without his roommate. It would be so… lonely. But Nick seemed happy with or without him, and he had never been one to show too much appreciation for others in the first place.

Jeff was sick of it. Was it really so much to ask someone to be there for him? He had other… other _stuff_ going on. He was stressed because of school, insecure about everything, and scared due to how quickly his dad's family was falling apart. He needed…

He needed a friend.

And Nick wouldn't be that friend.

Things all came to a head in his art class, though. Nick was confused, never having been truly great at the subject, and had been plaguing the entire class with questions on how to section off the patterns they were making. So of course Jeff had stepped in. Of course he had tried to explain. And of course Nick hadn't listened.

He never listened.

Jeff couldn't handle it anymore. His day had already been bad, his report card unfortunately filled with 'C's because of the abnormally difficult semester and his hair refusing to work with him. He had slammed his canvas board on the table, sketching out the rest of his pattern in silence, but Nick didn't notice. He was too busy talking to Trent and trying to figure out what he was supposed to be doing. The two had an unusual, high-pitched way of speaking to each other that had developed over the course of their friendship, just making Jeff feel worse. How come he and Nick didn't do fun things like that? How come they could be together but nowhere near each other at the same time?

And now Jeff was alone. He refused to talk to Nick because it wouldn't matter if he did, and Nick didn't even seem to notice that he wasn't talking to him in the first place. Like, really? How did that even happen? He saw him _all the time_. How could he not notice he was upset?

Maybe it was a little selfish and a bit bitchy to go about things at this angle, but Jeff didn't like conflict, and… you know what? Jeff _deserved_ to be a bit selfish and a bit bitchy. They were always doing what Nick wanted, and seriously? The other boy could be a complete and utter crank for no reason. It was Jeff's turn, and he wasn't backing down until he got an apology.

Of course, that left for some pretty awkward moments on Jeff's part. He didn't want to drag anyone else into his mess, but it was hard to reserve himself from Nick and still hang out with his friends without telling them. Plus, Jeff really did talk a lot. He had to vent.

And it was weird when Nick would be sitting _right there_ and Jeff felt like he couldn't talk to him. He was still his best friend, but he was sick of the wall between them, and he was too stubborn to let things go.

However, Jeff didn't know if he could stand another silent dorm room.

* * *

"Yo, man, is something up? You seem… off," Nick commented, sprawled out on Jeff's bed, shoes inconsiderately placed on his pillow. It took everything in Jeff's power not to bite his friend's head off. Like… _finally_, he noticed. But how could Nick be so attune to what was going on with Kurt, or Trent, or… _whoever _when he was so oblivious to _him_? Why couldn't he love him right? Jeff swallowed a sigh, shoulders tense.

"Um, dude, I'm talking to you," Nick clarified, and Jeff realized it was the first time he had addressed him directly since he had stopped talking. So yeah. That would be six days of constantly being together… Awesome.

Jeff swirled in the desk chair he was sitting in, facing as far away from Nick as possible and burying his head in his French textbook. He didn't understand anything in it, and finals were coming up, and Nick kept rubbing his knowledge of German in his face, but he was so _stressed_, and… you know? It would be really awesome if he could talk about it, and Nick would listen. Maybe he'd open up and… oh. Wait.

Jeff was starting to feel beyond bitter as Nick kept trying to talk to him. "Are you ignoring me? What the… Jeff! It's called listening; you should try it sometime. I'm trying to help you."

Okay. N-no. Jeff couldn't stay silent anymore.

"And what, pray tell, Nicky, would _you_ know about _listening_? Actually, back track. What would you know about not only listening, but _helping me_? It's all about _you_, Nick. I'm pretty sure you with all your self-centeredness would be the _last_ person to forget that, but then again, you forget _everything else_ that should be important to you."

Shhhit. Shit. That was from his angry place, not his actual head. Of course, now it was out there and the all too familiar defensive glint flared up in Nick's eyes. Right. Now _he_ was getting mad. It was _Jeff's turn to be mad!_

"I'm sorry, what?" Nick asked in the condescending tone he tended to use whenever he was grumpy before coffee in the morning. (Side note: Jeff seriously hated morning Nick. It was one thing to be cranky in the morning; it was another to actually be mean to someone trying to make it better.)

Jeff couldn't resist a dry laugh. "Look at you. _Still not listening_." He smirked at Nick's narrowed eyes and arms crossed over his chest. "And now you're getting angry about _me_ being angry. I suppose your sharp little tongue should intimidate me? Joke is on you, Nickpea. I'm just fricking happy to finally be _noticed_, thank you."

Nick arched an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, am I missing something here? When did you become a complete and utter ass?" Jeff shook his head, fury filling his body and filling his brain. He honestly hated the words coming out of his mouth, but… but he didn't really think before he spoke. And maybe he was just a bit done caring about what Nick was feeling.

"I don't know, Nick. Maybe when I realized that you're an awful person and I _hate you_?" Jeff knew he should stop talking, just… let it go. The look Nick was giving him was starting to get far too intense, and Jeff didn't see that expression on him too often. Only once, when he was yelling over poor Connor Izard for continually not doing his work. He really should stop. He should have stopped. But he didn't. "You don't… You don't even know what being decent means, I swear. How hard is it to be likable for a minute? Is it really that hard of a concept to grasp?"

"Like you can talk about 'grasping concepts', Jeff," Nick said with an exasperated puff of a laugh that had the blond dreading every word he knew was soon to come out of his best friend. The other boy pulled himself off of Jeff's bed, straightening to his full height and leaning over him. "I'm not the stupid one here, Jeff, that would be you. You barely passed your classes this marking period, so you're not exactly in a place to be telling me anything, really."

Jeff bit his cheek. Why did best friends know how to hurt so bad? For all of his not listening, Nick did know quite a bit about him that would be useful in a fight. Although, Jeff supposed that wasn't _that_ hard. There were a lot of facts about him that could easily be construed as insults.

"Also, all this talk about me not listening? That's complete and utter crap, Jeff. I listen to you _all the time_. You absolutely never shut up, and I'm forced to put up with every stupid, dumb, idiotic word of it, even when it doesn't make sense, which it never does, because you're a _moron_ and have the brain of a _five-year-old_! So stop _yelling at me!_" Nick shouted, and Jeff's heart tightened.

That wasn't how things were supposed to go.

But of course, he had been to stupid too stop himself and too stupid to think ahead…

Nick was practically seething above him, and Jeff was a bit floored. He didn't have any response. Not when everything Nick said was true… and he… He didn't know what to do now. Tears prickled his eyes, and once again, Jeff was completely fed up with how he cried so easily.

He turned out of his chair, slowly walking out the door of their room without hesitating, without looking back… He didn't want to see Nick's face. Jeff closed the door behind him and rested against it in the hall for a moment before digging his fists into his eyes and heading down the corridor. He didn't have destination in mind, but he supposed… he supposed he just wanted Nick to chase him. Maybe that was it.

Stubborn people sucked.

Eventually, without truly noticing where he had been walking, he found himself at Wes and David's door, tears streaked down his face. Crap, he hadn't realized he'd been crying. He knocked hesitantly. This was weird. He went to Nick when he was upset, and the other boy would throw out random references until he felt better. What could Wes and David do?

There were some scrambling sounds before _Thad_, oddly enough, opened the door with a cheeky smile on his face and hair a mess, looking more or less proud of himself before he noticed how upset Jeff was. "Heeey- Jeff? Oh my… shoot, what?" He grabbed Jeff's wrist and dragged him into the dorm.

Wes and David immediately shot up from where they were laid out on one of the beds, looking extremely angry with Thad for some reason or another, Wes shirtless, and David's tie undone around his neck.

Jeff _sooo_ didn't want to know.

"Thad, you're the one who always complains when- Jeff? Are you okay?" Wes cut himself off, eyes widening at Jeff's emotional state. He seemed panicked for a minute before his usual calmness swept over him. "Okay, Thad get out. You're gonna end up missing curfew. Jeff. Do you want just me or David, too?"

Jeff didn't know. He sniffed. "I wan' David, too," he answered, and Wes nodded as Thad snagged his blazer from the floor and shrugged it on, fussing with his hair as he walked out the door. Wes caught him watching and smiled.

"You _sooo_ don't want to know." Jeff couldn't help but crack a smile, face tight from the tracks of his tears.

"No. I really don't."

David wrenched himself from the bed and sat on the floor, patting a place next to him for Jeff to sit and leaning up against the mattress. Jeff sat next to him obediently, Wes slipping to his other side. "Okay, buddy," he soothed. "Where's Nick?"

Ugh, really? Why was that always the first question?

"I d-don' k-know… pppro'lly in the r-room still," he stammered, a fresh flood of emotions hitting him with full force at just the mention of the other boy's name. This was _hell._ He could feel Wes and David looking over him at each other, and Jeff honestly just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He hated everything. When Nick wasn't with him, you just had to know that something was wrong. David cleared his throat.

"Well… the next question I was gonna ask was who we have to kill, but I guess the answer's pretty obvious." Jeff nodded somberly, and the older boy stood up, rolling his shoulder. "He's still not listening?" he questioned, and Jeff mumbled a yes. "Alright. I'll be right back."

Jeff didn't care what he was going to do. He didn't. Wes seemingly didn't either, forcing him to rest his head on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around him. "Smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile when your heart is aching! Smiiiiiiiiile even though it's breaking!" Wes sang, admittedly off key and a big goofily.

Naturally, Jeff couldn't help but smile. He couldn't. Wes was always singing Nat King Cole, specifically this song, when he was upset, when anyone was upset… it was kind of a joke. He couldn't help but snuggle a bit deeper into Wes's side.

After about three terribly funny renditions of the song, David reappeared in the doorway, but he wasn't alone.

"What? _David!_ What the heck? Get him out of here!" Wes yelped, while Jeff's heart turned to lead. Nick. Why in the world would David bring Nick? Really? He couldn't even handle this right now…

"No, wait. Let the man speak," David said with his hands in the air in a sign of surrender. But Jeff didn't want to hear. Not Nick. Not at all. He didn't want to actually have to try for this… relationship or whatever anymore. Not. At. All.

"Jeff… I…" Nick looked lost for words and Jeff looked to his toes. This was so… uncomfortable. "Look. Jeff, I… I'm sorry," he said in a rush, cause like it or not, Nick would always be headstrong. "I should have listened to you more than I did. And… And I'm sorry I don't notice you the way I should, but like… Jeff. I don't like… this. I don't want you sad and stuff…" Nick seemed done, and David was looking at him appraisingly.

Jeff didn't know what to say. That actually hadn't made him feel better at all. Luckily, Wes seemed to have things all figured out. "Nick, that was a terrible apology," he growled, keeping his arms around Jeff almost possessively. Wes was such a mama bear. Nick kicked at the ground, scratching the back of his neck.

"I know. That was sucky. I just… I suck at this phrasing stuff, Jeff. I suck. So. Hard. So like… I know I hurt you, and I don't really know how it started, but I know it ended with me being a complete… Well, whatever, and I shouldn't have said _anything_ that I did, especially cause you put up with me when I'm yelling at you, and… I'm sorry, Jeff. I'll do what every you need, I just need you to talk to me." Jeff sighed.

"But I do talk to you, Nick. You just never hear it. All this… fighting and you're still not really listening to me. I just… I feel like this isn't a two-way thing, and I… I don't know. I guess I really need it to be," he confessed, cheeks flaring up under the duel stare of David and Wes. Nick looked confused.

"Jeff, I-"

"Save it."

"No, but I-"

"I said save it!" Jeff yelled suddenly, surprising even himself. "I so _don't_ want to have to listen to you anymore. I'm so sick of doing crap for no fricking reason for you! You never give back, Nick. I hate… I hate being with you because… you don't treat me right, and I… I can't… I hate you!" he finished with a yelp, and Nick looked crestfallen.

"You really hate me?" he asked, eyes vulnerable and Jeff couldn't stop the pain and hurt from swelling inside him. He sighed, exasperated.

"I'm starting to."

**Sorry for my awk David/Wes/Thad moment. I craved some fun. You know…**

**I really wanted to have them kiss and make up, but I was still to pissed off, so… all that happened. Haha, yeah… This is basically my life currently. Nick: You probably don't know who you are cause you don't care. Wes and David: Shila and Libby, Kurt: Kara, Thad: Lauren, and Trent: Patrick.**

**Done!**

**And if you beg while I'm on Work Crew and I return to a couple scattered pleas, I can be convinced to put a happy chapter afterwards. But if no one cares, then I probably won't, you know?**

**So grumpy…**


End file.
